How about this? 

Associate Art Director// Description:
The Associate Art Director will be a passionate creative, with a fresh vision and POV to bring food and entertaining to life for our customer. S/he will work with the Art Directors to develop photo concepts, to be adapted through all retail channels (stores, e-com, catalog). S/he will see the creation of imagery through from concept to print. The Associate Art Director will also be organized and efficient, with an ability to adapt easily to change, and produce stellar work in a deadline oriented environment. S/he will work closely with our merchant partners, creative services, and e-com team. This position will report into an Art Director.  Job Location: Williams-Sonoma, Inc., San Francisco, CA 94111

Or, this:
Lead Merchandise Room Coordinator: // Description:
The Merchandise Room Lead is responsible for leading and scheduling a team of sample merchandise coordinators to ensure photo production schedule deadlines are met on a consistent basis and the daily operation of the sample merchandise room is organized and efficient. This position is also responsible for the logistics, workflow, and security of all merchandise samples used in photography. The ability for daily lifting, carrying and moving of sample product is required.  This position reports to the Merchandise Room Manager.  Job Location: Macy’s, New York, NY
Or this:
Photo Studio Manager// Description:
The Studio Manager is responsible for leading and developing a diverse team of in-house and freelance product and fashion photographers, video editors, stylist, studio assistants, and studio support staff in our rapidly growing online business. The Studio Manager will lead the team through innovation, workflow and process improvement; while elevating the aesthetic of merchandise, photography, and video content.  Job Location: Madison, WI


It all sounds great, right? Positions that fit my skill-set well, that I’m well qualified for, but’s there’s just one major problem. I don’t live anywhere in the general proximity of California, New York City or Wisconsin and each would be one heck of a weekly commute–even with my cute new diesel.
Come back tomorrow for some of the nauseating outstanding job opportunities in our area. Can’t wait to share.